Words. This is how we all communicate. Texting more so than letters. Social media over a phone call. This particular “love language”, wasn’t the most popular amongst the art dropped off at my gallery this week. Re-Cap for those who don’t know: art is being dropped off for the group exhibit at A.E.H. studio gallery the five love languages I am currently curating. The reception is February 22nd 5:30pm-8:30pm. It will be a display of works based around the five love languages, a book by Gary Chapman. I thought it best to review words of affirmation after my last post about gifting.
Painted collage by Joan Gundersen
Words of affirmation is not my strong suit. I’ll be the first to admit that I will hide behind an embrace, a gift, supper… anything to get away from words that come from my heart! Even though it doesn’t hurt me to give compliments or tell someone how much I care about them it is definitely harder. I don’t like to make a spectacle of my emotional state, and rarely do I plaster my emotions on my face for the public to see. I guess this past week I’ve been more emotionally available and open to the people whom I love in my life and beyond. I’m realizing if I don’t say it they won’t hear it. If I don’t explain it, they won’t know. A healthy balance of all the love languages in a relationship is really key to a great one. Obviously as an introvert/INFJ I would choose more comfortable love languages over words of affirmation.
I am starting to see that words, books, and articles are a mental form of communication that can connect people through all senses. They are stronger than I previously thought. Books from the past is how we all learn. Books in the now it’s how we learn about others/new things. It is perhaps the strongest love language. In old age what means most to the elderly? When we talk to the elderly what do we want to hear? We want to hear stories, words, their history. Then you can be instantly vacuumed out of reality into their past experiences. I remember my grandmother on the Hall side telling me what she used to wear in school for swimming lessons. I was astonished to hear that she wore a cap and these dress-things and shorts under it all. She said it was Soo heavy. She shown me pictures of herself in these. I couldn’t believe she used to wear so many articles of clothing just to swim. I remember her telling me what things were like in school for her. How much time has flown by I realized, as she spoke about her experiences.
There are so many things I would like to ask her about today. Like her heritage and what it was like growing up with her brothers and sisters. But she is gone. I realized words have an expiration date sometimes and you have to let people know how you feel in the moment for moments do pass. I used to sit in the sun room with my grandma when my dad was gone to work because he was her primary caregiver. I didn’t want her to feel alone, plus I would have someone next to me while I painted. I would tell her what colors I was using and what I was painting that day. I drove there and we just checked in with each other almost weekly if not bi-weekly. Grandma Hall’s seeing wasn’t great towards the end of her life but she could hear and her mind was very sharp. So I guess the love language I gave her was quality time / time spent. You can miss a crucial moment to tell someone how you feel or ask how they FEEL. So, that being said…. What do you need to tell somebody?