Delayed with donuts: Minneapolis Airport Art Curation review

Life imitates art, art imitates life
This saying is repeated in the artistic social circles of life and beyond. I know what it means but not personally. I wander through the MN airport looking at the cases of original works. I have a top five and they are as follows:

1. Pistachio fluff- Jennifer Rogers

2. Birch totem- Ani kasten

3. Face jug with green aura- Haley prochnow

4. Grandma’s space – Brandon lepski

5. Coya 2- Guillermo Guadia

These all speak to me but I have been especially in the mood for solid block colors and monochromatic artwork. Simplicity and shapes have taken over my artistic favor. I like a good mixture of clay, photography, and painting. Each time I view work I try viewing it through the eyes of the curator; dropping myself in their shoes. I wonder why did the artist choose this or that work, and why did the curator hang this way? On my delayed flight to Houston I figured out what it means to have my art imitate life. Last year I created a piece of work called Patricia. It was the series wherein I asked several artists in town to give me a color palette. This particular work was purple, black, orange, brown, yellow, and white. I loved this work so much it sparked an idea for the Pantone series. All of which was made up in my mind, based on objects in an impressionistic space. Without pictures or plan I realized it was hard to re-create a series with these colors. How does one reignite a spark, reignite a passion? I remember how I made it with intuitive motion, grabbing color and placing shape into my piece of work aggressively.

I look out the window seat in the air plane…

The horizon line paints with the same color and feeling, “Patricia” the painting holds. I felt it was a sign to keep going with the series and try again. I am just expanding on it presently but wavering.

Is it the most detailed work I’ve painted? Nope. But it does move me. That means it is meaningful. I get inspired by the sight of it.

So try again I will.

Scattered thought poem:Clock’s tink to a lonely 11:37amThe man behind me at the bar gets a Spicer Bloody Mary, per my adviceThe stranger who was in charge of my drink gets up to leaveI’ve been here since 5:30 am and will leave at 4pmThe day feels like it’s been two“Do all men who rock bald heads have premature balding?”There are more boring thoughts then that even…”That’s, not my favorite” a short waitress stomps on cold slabs of tile glued to airport carpet”Can I have cucumbers in this?”Bartender drops hints of habenero liquids in my glassNose runs.I text.Listening to strangers, the guy behind be admits to people watching..looking for only hot ones.I’m buzzed.I am stuck at the Minneapolis Airport.

A.E.H. Studio Gallery

1501 Saint Andrew Street La Crosse, WI 54603 Above boot hill pub

Event: A.E.H. Studio Gallery Holiday Open House

What: Presenting to the world my curated studio space A.E.H. studio gallery with a holiday open house. All art shows are free to the public.

Date: November 30th 5:30pm-8pm Location: 1501 Saint Andrew St. St, La Crosse, WI 54603 (2nd floor) Enter building, take left up stairs, right through doors, right down the hall, I am on the right. Restrooms and elevator available, motion sensored lights in building. Info: Mingle & enjoy refreshments whilst viewing local artworks for sale by photographers, painters and a local wood worker. Pink, Purple, & Periwinkle: A love Affair Artshow

Who: Hello, Ashton Hall here! If you have been following on the heels of my career as of late you would have seen I have been making great strides into grand territories professionally. Opening a half year lease to focus on my artwork, I’ve decided to open my studio space up for the public to enjoy. In short the surrounding community is welcome to browse my studio during open hours and during exhibitions. I will be including local artists on the studio gallery walls that arent under the confines of subject limitation and commission. Since I have years of experience curating and exhibiting my own work and others in galleries, bars, cafes, theatres and other public places I’ve decided to use my expertise to organise several group shows. These solo & group shows will highlight my own work and local artistians unlimited perceptions. I hope to bring community together for several nights through Nove,ber 2019- April 2020 to talk art, culture, and grow revenue for artists in hopes of finding funds for projects in their careers. 

Worlds Apart, on the same island

October just ended and now its November. Fall leaves smother grey road, decorate the breeze and clog gutters around the Muse theater on the north side of La Crosse. The first weekend was sold out as I played Ginger in the Muse’s production of “Gilligan’s Island.” I met new people and laughed hard on stage with fellow cast mates. It was by far my favorite show I’ve acted in due to the cheesy lines and crazy Jessica-rabbit-esque character I played. I realized the first week I LOVED putting on the make-up for Ginger prior to performing. The make-up transformed me; channeling my inner Ginger; a high society Hollywood starlet. And no amount of glitter, rhinestones, blush, cleavage or flowery perfume was enough! After-all I shook my cleavage in lucky men’s faces each night…and made them blush and shirk so I needed that perfume! Needless to say it was a hit!

The crowd loved us each so much we had a few walk onto stage. Maybe it was the wine but the crowd wooted and hollered. In years past while in high school and after specifically around the time of my birthday I was in a play. That play I participated in opened so of course this time I had that reminiscent birthday’s of past feeling which is always a stomach full of Butterfly’s, peaking through the curtain at the sea of nameless faces.

Its true I was getting rather weary during the play an eager to start on my new artistic endeavors… a welcomed cloud that shadows most of my thoughts) on top of which I work 6 days a week at the Chaseburg post-office. Little did I know everything was about to fall into place. This is an announcement that I finally have a Pop-up studio space that I also will be curating gallery exhibits in! So this is VERY exciting news for me and art lovers! On My site and blog in intend to inform you all of my studio address and upcoming exhibits soon! Also I have been shooting images my painted tarot series for about a year now. Its a piling work in progress to create my own tarot deck but great news is I am about to start painting it! Further more I am going to be working with Downtown Main street to help create an artist Pop-up Co-op for this November -December! All good things…Stay tuned for more details. Peace & gratitude -Ashton

Culmination

“the highest or climactic point of something, especially as attained after a long time.”

500 main St. Mural Alleyway

Click these local stations for coverage of the event: WEAU or NEWs 8000

This past Friday the 13th was the culmination of many weeks of leadership, teamwork, and murals at the Mural reception for the 500 Main st. Alleyway project. September brought us an amazing harvest moon, also known as the wine moon or singing moon which brought many things into completion physically. These plans were laid months ago with Robin Moses, Sabrina B. and I at a chance meeting. We chatted about how to get local art into the eyes of the community and Robin proposed the idea that the murals in the alleyway adjacent to their building weren’t finished. That alley reminded me of Black Cat alley that I went to over the summer in downtown Milwaukee which involved many local artists. Since we all had a vision we started planning with 500 Main st. and asked local artists to be involved in painting murals with the help of La Crosse soup’s donation money. I must say thank you to all who attended the last Mural reception and the artists themselves! It was an amazing feat to behold for La crosse and I feel SOO PROUD that we made this happen. The last few months of painting really did pay off with some beautiful displays of public artwork. Hopefully the murals at 500 Main street in downtown La Crosse, Wisconsin will inspire the youth and garnish hope for future artists living there. I remember growing up in La Crosse and realizing long ago there weren’t many opportunities for a painter/graphic designer. I realized it is US artists in the present moment that need to stand up and need to be the change you would like to see in the world. I want artists to know that they can paint with passion and sometimes those rewards will not be of the material world: but instead spiritual value. Being VALUED by the public with emotional connection for making things more beautiful is a reward and sometimes more affirmation you need then fleeting money.

In Due time

EVERYTHING IN DUE TIME

“Everything happens in due time “

We all know the saying. I do not like waiting though. Naturally I want to reach out to the world, take action by getting what I need then scampering off.

If I follow this train of thought I instantly feel like a bee sizing me up in summertime. There I am …hardened like a rock while a bee buzzes at my face, chest, and butt. I am waiting…holding my breath with eyes widened internally screaming please DON’T STING ME.

My cat Ms. Piggy found the one clean spot on my art desk closest to me

I am referring to how the universe makes me feel while I wait for fruits of my labor to ripen and drop . If you know me personally I take suggestions from the universe like synchronicity seriously. I’ve been waiting to see a happy coincidence lately before making great shifts in my life. Really I should have never waited for my ship to reach shore. Cycles, phases, emotional pitfalls can be used to fuel the creation of art. So have faith and feel everything can work out. Waiting is about timing which is important mental work. It is the work of having faith as well as weighing the risks you take. Many artists have a hard time building up enough emotional reserves to weather the downtime phases in their careers. It is the phase when commissions seem to grind to a halt and you stand there wondering, “what’s next – who’s next – wheres the next opportunity” I will tell you that time catches up with us, ultimately surpassing us if we haven’t paid enough attention to it. My advice to artists is take your time defining what you want to convey. FIND THOSE healthy environments to do so and if you do not get chosen and have tried, well…keep trying. This rant is brought to you by a feeling of hopeless I had today whilst sitting waiting for news about an artist residency application (in which I wasn’t chosen for.) At first I was sad but then I reminded myself that my own personal experiences are the teachers in my life. I decided to make the feeling of hopelessness mean something.

I made it mean:

  • better times I have the power to create are ahead
  • my best work is yet to be done
  • I am okay with having enough time for me to be tranquil in the now

I suggest if you get stuck in a rut and cannot climb out then try making a list of positive aspects of your current experience like the one above. You know the negatives and are probably stewing on them right now like a witch celebrating the winter solstice. So here is a reminder: NO ONE is YOU. The art you make is important so get it out into the world. Keep constantly creating your highest excitement and ideals willingly. Have gratitude for opportunities even if they pass by because you can decide to create some new ones of your very own. On that note I recently asked 2 other women to do a female group show with me. I am very excited to see what art comes out of this new collaboration we all MAKE happen!
Stay tuned and Stay strong.


A Dream realized

DSC_0313So far 2018 has been a compilation of all the things I’ve always wanted to do this year. I made this list of the dreams I’ve wanted to achieve so I would slowly but surely checked off the whole list. Time goes by so fast and I am having a very nostalgic kind of day.

This morning I woke very clear headed. What I mean is I usually wake up to my inner voice saying, “coffee?” But this morning the voice said, “I am ready for the day without coffee!” I realized I have been putting off writing on this blog for some time now because I was busy or not in the mood…but today I have many things to say so let’s begin.

The list:

  1. Work as a freelance artist
  2. Put together an exhibit for SG 1311 Gallery in February: Check!
  3. Put together an exhibit for M Gallery this July: Check!
  4. Go to New Orleans & Mexico: Check!
  5. See Hufreesh in Arizonia and see James in Texas: Check!
  6. Get a mural job: Check!
  7. Get a job in La Crosse while doing my craft: Check!
  8. Learn how to express love freely, remove my blockage to emotional relating.
  9. Get accepted for another residency for 2019.
  10. Move to a new state.

Number 9-10 have yet to come. I was not expecting to get those things done on my list until the end of the year has come. Today number 8 hit me hard. Whenever someone moves away or out of my experience I always wonder if I had opened up more while this person was around if our relationship could have been deeper. I feel we are all here on earth to have emotional experiences with others so maybe they would have seen how much I cared for them and thus the relationship would have deepened because of it. Nostalgia always hits me at the 11th hour. Nostalgia always has something to say about your feelings.

Many good things besides those listed above have happened this year. Seems like everyone is moving forward on their goals, my sister and fiance bought a house, old friends have moved to colorado, many in my family had children, and there is me working on my career and relationships. Well a very awesome opportunity came about this month in that regard. I have been asked to be featured in the Coulee region woman’s magazine which was a complete surprise. I have yet to accomplish finding 15 models for an all female exhibit I would like to create. This series involves woman and their scars, whether they be emotional or physical. I would like to find 15-20 models before the summer is out, each painting will be 6 feet tall by 3 feet wide displaying the models actual size. After I get each womans story I plan on artistically painting their unique story inside the frame of the body. This requires models to stand for about 2 hours. If you are interested or know someone that could benefit from sharing their story then contact me below and tell me about yourself!

The Door has Opened

When one door closes, another door opens. It is a well known saying. It’s premise of letting go of a facet of life that is no longer serving you. I accomplished exactly THAT in October 2017. I left Logistic’s Health Incorporated in La Crosse to pursue my passion. Art, and any form of it. I wanted to break out of my fear of lack for good by leaving cubical life FOREVER. I started to notice I lost my free spirit while working in that cube. I felt like a caged bird, always looking out at the sky daydreaming I could fly instead of actually flying. I was contacted by the Muse Theatre to play in their Holiday show, The Winter Wonderette’s. After being hesitant for sometime, Meagan, the actress portraying the role of Missy asked me to reconsider saying no to playing Cindy Lou. I asked for a sign from the Universe to tell me to stay or go. I was unhappy at that time. I see everything in a spiritual light so I listen and watch for signs around me from the UniverseCody, my new co-worker that sat to my left had started to sing Jingle Bells. It was the middle of September and that song was a mash-up in The Winter Wonderette’s. CSC_0760That was the sign I needed.  I didn’t have much to lose besides money and trust me if there is a lesson I’ve already learned years ago it is that money isn’t everything. BUT that is a very long story for a different day. Money is just a tool, that is all. I wanted a spiritual challenge to grow into a more secure person. Being on stage is a huge Ego-risk I figured out from the last play I was in. One almost is forced to create confidence under bright lights or at least act it. Transcending the Ego-self and transforming into a different character did remove my self-imposed limitations and rebuild my faith in being able to change from within. I know I would not be getting ready for my very first Solo Art show in La Crosse if I did not take this step. Imagine If I didn’t close that door of fear last year, I wouldn’t have had the time or energy to make Art. I have been so open to exploring the fun of releasing insecurities and living in the curiosity of risk. It is more fun NOT KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS WEEK.  DSC_1197People do what works for them but there is a sense of freedom in the way I’ve choosen to live. I care more about how I feel and take responsibility of my happiness. Maybe It would give others worry but it works for me. This door has flung open inside me and opportunities have been flooding into this space and filling it up! I am starting to teach art again at a new venue, “M Gallery” sign up and information is here. This week I’ve been working on my website, business cards, adding a monthly Newsletter sign-up, and framing for the solo show, Memories in Color. Memories in Color highlights the last two years of my work painted from memories in an impressionistic flair using dramatic colorful Oil Pastels, Acrylic, and tube Oil Paint. The Reception is February 16th 6-9pm located at 1311 Gallery at 1311 Market Street La Crosse, WI. Gallery hours run February 17th 1-8pm with an Artist talk at 7pm where I can answer questions and talk in depth about my pieces. I wanted to use this platform to thank every person reading this for stopping by here and supporting my work. I love sharing my memories and I hope to start video blogs in the future and film live Youtube Art creations…”hint hint.” I better get back to creating, the show is tomorrow and it is 6:23 am CST.

With self-love and hope there is a journey to a better you, just adventure off the beaten path to find it. -A

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When the dust settles

0109181609When the dust settles it’s easier to use a dustpan and sweep it up. Have you ever tried to sweep up a dusty sandstorm? No because it’s impossible, you almost have to wait for the unfolding of events. Watch drama unfold until it’s done similar to a tornado. That is the same for a lot of things in life I’ve realized. Like relationships that have gone stale or careers that turn boring that were once full of excitement. That’s how January 2018 feels, it’s as if 2017 was a whirlwind of past mistakes repeated over again to concrete in my memory. NOW I have to grab the dust pan and toss away regrets and good times. I tend to learn the same lesson over because I let go of the past easily and forget entirely not to do something . But this year I want to start a brand new way of learning trama and life’s lessons. I have created a brilliant idea for an art show that would display just that concept over decade. I want to start over and maybe that’s why I’m visiting Denver, Colorado and gazing out a Cafe window. I travel to look for answers that are inside of me.

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sometimes your inner voice is distorted by daily activities that you would do every morning in your hometown. I wanted to explore what I was missing. I wanted to explore what life could be like somewhere else. Maybe it is finally time for a move so I can tap into the new energy of starting over. Moving changes you. It changed me within 6 months of stayed in Texas. My perspective of the world widened and so did my thoughts of the intention of the people around me. There are life occurrences that art can’t fix and making a bold move is one of them. But to help the move go swifter I came up with a great idea to hold an ART & La Crescent Animal shelter fundraiser. By selling all my art and a percentage goes to the shelter. This will raise awareness of the one non-kill shelter close to my home. This shelter is full of animals that could be there for days or years. I spent 2 years playing with the cats and it was therapeutic taking care of them. Once the details are fleshed out the info will be posted for public participation. Happy new year to everyone wanting to begin again.

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-Ashton Hall

 

Howlite

Peaceful, broad minded, and subtle. The describing words for a stone I found while walking around shopping for cat collars this morning. “Howlite” is a borate mineral found in evaporite deposits. This stone when tumbled is sheet white with light grey veins climbing in varying patterns. With all the stress and activity that has been going on in my life, I believe this gem came to me. DSC_0802

I believe in the health benefits that derive from sharing space with stones. In order to feel their true nature just try to tune into how they improve your feeling state. What do your senses say or what images come to your mind? This stone is for calming the mind and body from states of stress or upset. By bringing a state of subtlety, this stone enhances tact and a deep state of calm.

DSC_0784Professional responsibility, synchronicity, and creativity have all vied for my attention this week. Usually I would write a long winded paragraph about this week and weeks prior. But it has been a long day. Ghost has fleas. Piggy has one cavity. Got my period. Basement flooded after yesterdays crazy storm. And then finally had some fun in Viroqua with Colin, Ryan, and Kendall. We dropped off a few of my paintings Viva Gallery for possible guest spot. Ate at Driftless cafe’, then checked out Garys rock shop before heading home.

If you havent noticed, I created my own ART CRAWL. I want to celebrate all the work I have created over the last ten years and thank all supportive friends,  businesses, and Colin for the hard work to make this happen. If you need more info there is an option in the menu bar.

I wish you well…And new creations soon to come.

A.E.H.

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Welcome

This is my first blog post on this particular site since it’s inception. My fingers hover over the laptop keys as I recount all that has happened this year. It might help if everyone could catch up from an eventful 2016 to this year 2017.

After the Horlock House Artist in Residency I went back to Texas and helped the famous Navasota painter, “Russel Cushman” with his mural on the side of the Hi-Ho Gas Station. I learned some handle techniques in pottery, met new friends, tried new wine, and had one of the most amazing experiences of my lifetime. I would like to first visit my previous blogs to condense these amazing experiences:

Thursday, March 2, 2017 “Merry go-round”

I wake up at 8ish on a Thursday morning. Yet again I have another dream of putting clothes away at Shopko, a store I used to work part-time for growing up. But this time there was a panel watching me put clothes away and a beautiful song playing while the panel lingered gratfully listening.
I used to have alot of dreams I was working at previously worked jobs I since left. Each with a weird twist. One dream I do remember was I was waitressing for rich people until late into the night at my last job, Le Chateau. A Mansion with several darkly lite sepia toned floors, but this time a red carpet lined the halls where the kids of the owners frolicked while I scurried around looking for wine glasses in the dark.

Today I feel yet again I am walking up back in time. Coming from Texas during an 88 degree spring I now am facing snow in Wisconsin every week and a snail like pace day to day. I am waking up in the same dream, the same day over and over even though I know I ‘ve made changes. Last nite I finished 2 pieces. I will try not getting lost in a day dream while in this place that looks like child hood memories.  I am going to stick to a plan and tackle an Artist website and create an online port folio.

Thursday, February 23, 2017 “Home Again”

I sit with elbows curved beside my black card table used for painting. With a pot of coffee brewed, my eyes settle on Jay Street. A Squirrel lingers then runs up a tree infront after a man shuffles into Pickerman’s restaurant. How did the squirrel get soo off track that now he is stuck in a concrete desert surrounded by busy people and vehicles? I guess when you wonder off any path into the unknown your life can take several turns you would rather miss. That is what risk is, a challenge to get to the other side where safety and stability are.

After meeting many people involved in Art Careers from Muralists, Art Representatives, and Glass blowers, Painters and more I realized a full-time career in Art is a sliding scale. By sliding scale I mean it is similar to a round glass revolving door at a Mall, where several people trickle in or don’t. The big twirl is opportunity and some hitch the ride and find themselves with several commissions and work. Others that are not aligned, or perhaps missing something miss the swing of the glass and  have to hop into the next window of opportunity.  How much waiting is worth the risk in an Art career? Some days I ponder this up hill climb, waiting on others for your next potential sale or project. I must remind myself of the past truths to remedy doubt. I received numerous commissions in Texas and was consistently at work from painting a Polynesian band, the Chamber of commerce, a large window piece for the Patout building in downtown Navasota Texas and so on. So why does fear sink in to me once in awhile after knowing the ebb and flow of opportunity?

Saturday, February 11, 2017 “Saying thank you’s & Good byes”

I waltz outside and smell the pink roses that grow in the front yard. Their fragrance barely lingers long after the bloom. The pink is a buttery salmon that is sliding up a skinny stem. I would stay here forever, living in this house I came to love. The bulding has history and fragrant flowers stain the yard. I catch Neo, a stray cat I named eating a tiny grass snake. He turns and looks at me while the tail half of a snake flip flops beneath his paw.  He dismissed the snake and trotted towards me for pets. Today is sunny and the snake reminded me of the story of Ouroboros, an Egyptian symbol for formless disorder, introspection, and the world’s periodic renewal. I went through these waves in life and circles and its as if the cycle is broken and I can now begin on a straight and narrow path. One I will create instead of prophesize.
The snake wont be eating it’s own tail anytime soon…

It’s hard not to relate this symbol to my stay here in Navasota, Texas. This place made me reborn. A Phoenix from the ashes. Being here and away from everything I knew made me stronger, and believe in myself like I haven’t before. Having peoples interest and being watered with some fresh opportunity and down time to heal past tragedies puts things back into check. I went on numerous walks with Chase (the pup across the street.) Living in this 18th century house restored my faith in life as I know it. I stopped the negative karmic relationship cycle I create in my love life. I made mistakes. Tried walking in circles of the Houston Art Scene, dug deep to scab the past, and I started seeing why I attract what I do. I realised the more I valued me, others followed suit. People walked into my life that had the very thoughts and traits I possessed. From Jame’s spirit, to Jose’s karmic kindesses, to Russel’s belief in the passions of a young artist…these 6 months have been well worth the weight in gold.  Gold being 6 month’s time away from Colin, my cats, my home, and everything that made the old me. Today I say goodbye to the old me and told her its time to start over and risk a new adventure.

Monday, February 6, 2017 “Sage”

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Yesterday I floated around a canvas, painting a familiar image. James came over to sage, ceder, and bless the land the Historic Horlock House sits upon. A medium told James and I there were unrested spirit’s attached to it (and me) at a Body, mind, and Soul in the weeks previous.
I felt dizzy and weighted as he saged Hufreesh and I. We burnt tobacco after thinking of our intentions for the unrested spirits. I made a large pot of lemon grass tea, then walked barefoot outside. I knew that was the real reason why we came to the Horlock house, Hufreesh voiced my thoughts aloud as we sat upon the blue porch watching Jame’s rituals.
A trumpeting train beckons behind the building I sit in while I rehearse yesterday. I sold a pair of Rose Gold Morganite earrings, downed a latte,  and  am contemplating my next move. Minimalize, reorganize, and find peaceful moments throughout the day. These are my current priorities.

Saturday, January 14, 2017 “Truth Serum”

Lastnite I feverishly stumbled around the Horlock House extremely whoozy. I felt like a mouse drowning in sticky cold beer. I took a liquid probiotic that did not agree with me. Fuorescent lighting burnt my retinas while I arounded the bathroom corner. Ascending down the robin egg blue stairs I curved a left into the shower room. I took a darkly lite shower. What wasn’t normal were all the changes my body has made lately. Alcohol makes my right side hurt, same with birth control, and now I finally found the reason. I believe this is all stemming back to my Amalgam fillings that are WAY overdue for removal. Amalgam silver fillings are made from a blend of metals which contain up to 50% mercury. Mercury is a Neuro-toxin. My body has been getting hormonal changes, UTI’s, yeast infections, and allergic reactions from the simplest of products. Deodorant even gave me hives for Godsake. (Used the same brand for a year.)

Whenever I take probiotic I feel drunk hours later for some reason. I blame this for a night riddled with nightmares. And previous nights as well. I had a nightmare soo intense I woke up. I woke right when a white witch of God-like faith gave me a truth serum by unsealing my lips to my soul by the help of an angel. Lies, I was made of them I snarled through cement lips as my body sucummed a deep possession state. Crystals of all types surrounded me in the dream.

3pm Today  I drink a beer at an Art Council fundraiser BBQ in College Station. So far I have sold one piece. A older man in an olive green hat happened by to tell me how hard it is to make it as an Artist. He proceeded telling me he was one of the lucky ones in the 60’s. One day in Connecticut a stranger strolling by his barn Gallery said, ” lets make you famous” he recalled. He even stated that exact man was a friend of Vincent Von Gogh. Apparently his friend has funny stories of being with him. After telling me how Art is a business he added I need to frame my work, name it, and sign it. I know I was nodding my head and but I wasnt in the mood to hear yet another person tell me how tough being an Artist is. I choose not to believe it. I want all possiblies open and available to me, if I give into that thought I would be backtracking on all the internal work I have made. Valuable work I have done spiritually like knowing I am worth anything, also that I can achieve anything.

“The shit doesn’t stop until YOU stop.”- As Jame’s band mate proclaims

Monday, January 9, 2017 “Changing the Future before it changes you”

When I was younger I looked at life like a series of events that one needed to go through in order to become an adult. Now I look back at turning 18 and I knew I was young so I used it to my advantage because it wouldn’t last. Ten years later I am glad I did. I am glad I sat on beaches, seen all the famous museums from New York to California. I also wasted alot of time at jobs that didn’t suit me and with people that didnt as well.

Currently I stare through the front left Window at Harvest Cafe in downtown Bryan Texas. I wonder about the new people I will meet in the future and what traits will they have that make me question mine, to grow as a person. I chose the path of not loving a child for my own expansion while alot of woman I know have. While on my journey all the time in the world is allowed for me to grow, if I had that child where on the path would I be? Would I stop focusing on me? Now that I have all the time in the world to grow I need to use it to learn from all the lessons I ignore and repeat. I like not knowing what the next chapter in my life will be but that is hard for someone who sees future potentials. I made previous decisions on the future potentials I saw…now I wonder if no matter what I do the lesson was fated to happen for my own expansion and will it still come even when I opt out of an experience. I am starting to believe this maybe true.

Monday, November 28, 2016 “Pathways”

Divine right timing. Do you know what it is? If you havent spent much time to wonder inside yourself or havent mastered manifestation, vibrational and karamic laws that govern this world you may be lost in the posts ahead. This theory is no figment of the imagination. It is an order, a rule that is guided by your desires. A labyrinth of creation. The birth of your pathway in life, because you create all aspects of your life just by having thoughts and desires, by being alive or simply, “being.”  There is more mystery in this philosophy than I opted into knowing yet, but I’ve been learning, whatever that affords me.

Last nite I was sanding masonite boards inside of the Horlock House Garage. I tied a dress around my face for a mask and used a power sander James lent me. A man I made friends with the moment we met, for I trusted him. I got that feeling and ran with it. Where others were hesitant I was wide open and I am glad to see my intution has perfect aim. He made the house dinner and fixed the door latch soon after and recently we spent thanksgiving together but more on that later. While I sanded Jose invited me over for a beer and gave me a turkey leg. Walking over we chatted for a time. We spoke of the renissance fair we both  attended recently and I learnt of his family situation.

He told me a few years back his wife got her tubes tied but he wanted another baby, so they went to the doctor and they happened upon a tumor growth that wasnt cancerous but they proceeded with a hysterectomy. That is an example of divine right timing created by desire. Jose’s desire let his wife happen upon a tumor she wasn’t aware of. He added a new pathway for his wife, some call this divine or fate. I beg to differ because at some point it was you who acted upon desires and let yourself have them.

Let yourself be loved, rejected, gifted, stolen from, and everything else that comes your way. Learn from the experiences that unfold even if they end your story. For the point isnt about the circumstance it is about the meaning you derive from the experience you’re having.

Since I have been taking Chase (Jose’s dog) for a walk instead of whining about him  needing exercise it has opened new doors of learning. By being the change I wish to see I opened the cage of my mind. Try for a day to relinquish your boundaries, beliefs, and attachments. Question them and have fun with changing the pieces on the board to create new pathways in the labyrinth of your mind for it will mirror in the physical world soon after.

Sunday, November 13, 2016 “Open the door, it is Opportunity!”

It has been longer then a minute since posting about my progression as an Artist. A lot has changed. I am now living in Navasota Texas, part of the NAIR (Navasota Artist In Residence) program ran by the Art Council of Brazos Valley. I applied when working at Le Chateau and decided to follow my dream. I have been learning all I need to know about the art world and how it really works. I have attended Fundraisers, Art Openings, Met the owners of several Art Galleries and Representatives. So far I have done my research and realised my value as an Artist, and now I know my problem before was connected to my generosity, lack of boundaries, and valuing “myself.” I now will charge what I need and let the people who value my product agree. Before coming here I let nay-sayers feed my inner fears connected to following my dreams and real self. Now I have matured as a woman and look to all the knowledge life offers moving forward. I have something to say to people looking for validation. Stop. Validate yourself, love yourself, and  more opportunity to do so will mirror.

Opportunity is always knocking, so turn the T.V. down. Put your cellphone down. Make some connections with like-minded people. Ask for help. Turn your criticism off, neglect your negative thoughts stating, ” Those things don’t happen out of thin air” for I am living proof THEY DO. When you doubt and you’re stuck in a routine, you rarely see your life change before your eyes. For YOU haven’t changed. Become the seeker, not a squater. Open up and look at your life with fresh eyes and wonder why NOT YOU? Wonder why all the new people are flooding into your life. What lessons are they there to teach, what personality traits are they mirroring that YOU actually possess so you can morph to become the best version of yourself? I have been fed up lately with trying to motivate people….people that whine about the world unchanging. It starts with you. This should be obvious, I mean have you heard ANY Michael Jackson songs? Enough jesting, I digress…what does it take to follow your bliss? What will it take for you? A life time of wasted energy at an unfullfilling job? An illness? Almost dying then realising there is no time left? What will it take for you to give yourself what you most deeply wish for?

Monday, February 29, 2016 “W.A.R.M Art-show”

This past Thursday I took a drive down to Minneapolis to see the place my painting of Courtney was hung. Also to see my friends and go to new cafes. We were all so tired I think none of us saw it as a day off.

The Grain Belt bottling Company, A spacious room filled with feminist art stroked the walls. I wasn’t intrigued. I didn’t feel alive or passion. Feminist was the theme of the show and is a word that makes me feel strange. I think woman are powerful obviously, I am also. But there is a difference between being noticed for your strength as a woman and just talking about how all woman should have some. My consolable brain jumps right in to find the fault with that statement and to be inclusive to the woman who are weak. Because acceptance was a theme for me as I was young, I never felt accepted and never asked others to change their opinion of me either, so in other words I was strong, and I don’t really care about underdogs, I just don’t point them out as much.

Feminism. That word still dis-empowers the woman whom in which aren’t there yet and makes them feel the distance between themselves and the goal…complete confidence and freedom. I call it “taking inventory.”

 It is America, you would think our society is progressive enough to be past this subject. Or any race or gender subjects. Well?

Monday, February 29, 2016 “Visited MOWA”

Mowa in West Bend Wisconsin was stunningly beautiful. I stood before the biggest Realism painting I have ever seen, titled “The Flagellants” painted by Carl Von Marr. It was soo moving, my jaw dropped and my head was tilted skyward with awe. I met a new friend Pam Anderson who was also in the current show in MOWA.

She is a very accomplished artist whom just won the Pfister Hotel artist in residence award. Its funny, I wanted to apply years ago it seems, alias I meet a woman who gets accepted. Weeks ago I said I would like to meet a woman that wanted to help me and my art, who was genuine, instead of several slimy men full of broken promises leading to disdain and an abused body and  reputation. Then out of the blue my mothers friend, “Jody” asked me to go. Note to everyone, all wishes come true when you let go, so keep an open heart and mind to all the world has to offer and keep wishing even though it IS hard to focus sometimes.